Flying with kids. It strikes mortal fear into the hearts of most parents. The mere idea of being trapped in a pressurized tube with a teething infant or tantrum-throwing toddler may be enough to make you put off all leisure travel for years. Add COVID to the mix, and hello, panic attack.
But, the reality is there are things you can do to make it better – and no matter how it turns out, it’s likely going to be worth the pain.
We’ve taken 10 flights with our daughter before she turned two, and if I’ve learned anything, it’s control what you can control. Prepare as best as possible, and the rest is quite literally “up in the air.”
First, abandon all perceptions of what it will be like. Many people actually recommend traveling with a small baby – they aren’t mobile yet and can sometimes feed or sleep contentedly the whole flight. And, many commonly warn against flying with toddlers and to expect a nightmare flight. It will come as no surprise to hear: all kids are different, and there’s really no way to know how your kid is personally going to react to this totally new and weird situation.
My daughter flew 4 times when she was 5-6 months old. She didn’t want to breastfeed or sleep and instead wanted to smile at everyone walking by or play with her toys. It was cute but not restful for us. Cue toddlerhood: She will contentedly watch Cocomelon for 4.5 hours.
Every kid is different so the same “tips” aren’t going to apply to everyone. But, let’s go ahead and talk some easy tactics to prep for your flight:
Baby must-haves
Breastfeeding moms: Bring your boppy (or any breastfeeding pillow)! If I’d had to hold/feed my baby without the support of a boppy, the rickety sack of bones I call my back would have been screaming within minutes. You may look at that Boppy, and say: Do I really want to drag that through the airport and on the plane and everywhere I go? Yes, yes, you do.
If your babe is formula-fed or starting to wind down on breastfeeding, bring plenty of bagged/bottled milk for the plane ride. A little cooler is the perfect item, and it will put your mind at ease to know you have more than you need.
Change of clothes. There will be a blowout. And it will be at the most inopportune moment. Bring clothes that are easy to take on and off.
Diaper changing pad. Especially in COVID times, you’re going to want to minimize all surface touching. (Although, it’s also good to accept that your child will touch everything and it will be gross to you in deep, deep ways.)
Books and toys, but don’t overdo it. The first time we traveled I brought like 15 toys + books in my backpack and she really only cared about this one little crinkly butterfly. She definitely didn’t care about the books. Just bring the one or two they really love and call it a day.
Toddler must-haves
As opposed to babies, overpack on the toys. Unveil new toys every hour. We took a 5-hour flight when my daughter was 16 months and I packed 4 brand-new, never before seen toys I slowly unveiled throughout the trip. It kept her so occupied, we didn’t have to resort to the iPad until 3 hours in.
Snacks, snacks, snacks. Have a variety of snacks (and maybe don’t go tooo hard on the sugar) so they’re never bored with the selection.
Change of clothes. Yep, just never stop bringing a change of clothes.
iPad. Another obvious one – bring that tablet and keep it charged! We downloaded Cocomelon videos from Youtube and it worked like a charm.
A few more things to keep in mind:
Try not to get to the airport too early Pre-parenting, I was one of those people who liked to get to the airport like 3 hours early. Maybe I’ll drink a beer, maybe I’ll get a foot massage, whatever. Yeah, don’t do that. Of course, give yourself some leeway, but don’t get there so early you are exhausted before the flight even begins.
Take advantage of the family bathrooms and nursing rooms
These little oases are truly a gift from the gods – not only is it a place to do the changes and feeding away from the public, it’s just a place to take a breath and regroup as a family.
When it comes to booking flight times, hope for the best but plan for reality
My kid has only slept on a flight one or two times for short periods of time. She almost never sleeps on the go. She likes her nap and night sleep in her crib. That said, many people have success booking flights over nap times. Other people found that the whole experience winds their kid up and makes it worse. Your child will conform to no rhyme or reason. Accept that now, all ye who enter parenthood.
Snag a seat in the back
It’s loud back there. And it will drown out most noises your child is making. PLUS, babies love white noises and it’s super lulling for them to get up close with that sweet engine drone. If you sit too far back you risk being right next to the bathroom, and then everyone walking by will see your boob if you are breastfeeding. But if you don’t care about that, get back there, cause it’s not bad to be near the bathroom either.
Bring a movie or shows on your phone
You may think, oh, there’s no way I will get to watch anything. But my husband and I have watched something on almost every flight. Even if we’re watching it while my daughter puts the tray table up and (and up and down) and up and down, it’s still better than thinking “how much longer, how much longer, how much longer.”
Set expectations with your partner in advance
Two people can really tag-team a flight in delightful ways. For example, my husband always agreed to be the one willing to be the one to walk the baby up and down the aisle if she’s freaking out. Knowing he would do this in advance made me feel a lot better about what would happen in a meltdown.
If you only have the one kid, try taking turns. You watch a movie for 30 minutes and then spend the next 30 letting the kid stomp all over you. And, switch. Not a foolproof plan but can sort of work to give you a break. We're about to have number two and I'm super sad to lose some of this downtime.
If you're prone to anxiety, help yourself in some manner.
I’m an anxious person, and when it came to the first few flights with my daughter (and then, flying during COVID), I was really quite worried in the days leading up to the flight. (Partially because people love telling you their shitshow flight stories, not their easy flights).
Try to find something that will help you. I took CBD oil, and it was a dramatic assist.
I was also given Ear Seeds, seeds taped onto acupuncture pressure points that you can squeeze to relieve stress. Sounds hokey but squeezing them until I was in pain somehow helped me. I was so anxious about flying during COVID, I had my doctor prescribe an anti-anxiety pill I could take as needed – I didn’t end up taking it but knowing I had it made a huge difference.
Remember that you will block all of this out anyways.
Just like childbirth, the details get fuzzy with every passing day (and every new gray hair). What may feel like 7 hours of hell will be a laughable story down the road. More likely than not, you’re going to make some awesome memories wherever you’re going – that’s what you’ll remember.
So take a breath, and when you're ready, book that flight.
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